
Fortunately, we are very blessed to have two cars. So, we hop out of one and get into the other to head to church (for which we will now be late) but we head off anyway. It's Sunday. It's lovely. It's God's day... but are you kidding me? We don't have the money to have the car fixed? We don't have ANY extra on a monthly basis right now?!? Oh, and did I mention the sermon series is on Finances. Trying not to be completely depressed as we walk into the nursery, we drop LG off and head to the sanctuary.
People are friendly, it's great worship music... and then it happens. The reality sinks in like a warm blanket after being out in the cold. The car is not mine. It's not my money to pay to get the car fixed it's HIS! We spend the next hour letting this truth sink in. It's not ours, it's HIS. I'm not mine... I'm HIS. My job, our life, my son, the car... all HIS. He has only entrusted me with the care of these things.
Let's backtrack a bit... when I was pregnant for some reason I really felt this fact. I really felt the humility and honor of carrying this little life that I knew that we had little to do with the miracle of making him. Even after he was born, I would sit up at night, rocking him and cuddling him, and just thank God that He gave me this little life to love and care for... and then I would spend a LONG time asking for HIS HELP in doing it! God blessed us with him... but then why, only 16 months later does it seems so hard to live this out. Not only with him but with so many other things - like the car's engine light.
Why do we do this? I mean, I don't think I'm alone here. I believe that Jesus is my Savior. I believe He is the only Son of God who came down from Heaven and was made man. But, why then am I totally freaked out about this silly car???
So, I have been thinking about this since Monday when I took said vehicle to the car Dr. It was, as we were dreading... not something tiny or minor. The first question, do you have an extended warranty on this car? NO, we are in grad school and when thinking about buying a warranty or moving your family for your husband's career, you do the move and not buy the warranty. Right? Well, in theory, yes. But, come to find out if we had bought the warranty (or one like it) it would have now practically paid for itself. GULP! So, what to do?
Cars are of this world... and like all things this side of heaven they are in a constant state of decay. With this in mind and thinking about that servant with his talents... I called a couple warranty places and talked to a few people that I trust (hubby, parents). The warranty we are looking into seems really good. But, warranties are like life insurance. You pay for them in the hopes that you won't need them, right? So, are we being the wise servant who invested their talents and made money... or are we burying it? We have 30 days to decide and will be praying about it...
And, as for why things like this freak me out - I think it goes something like this: The world tells me it's all mine! All I have to do is charge it and I can have it now. The world says cars say something about who you are. This world is always telling me things... and sadly sometimes I listen. Bottom line: need to hear less of this world and MORE of HIS! His Word says that He cares for the lillies of the field. He says that my treasure in his kingdom, not in this world. Mat. 6:20 "But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal."
And, he says, you are mine and I love you and I gave my life for you and I don't want you to worry about your car!